Blueprint for a Life of Impact
I delivered my mom’s eulogy at her requiem mass on Friday, January 3, 2024. I am so proud to be her daughter.
Blueprint for a Life of Impact: A Eulogy for Judy Lynn Lewchuk (23 April 1949 – 27 December 2024)
“I can’t believe I had that kind of impact.”
It’s what my mom typed to me on her tablet every time someone left her room at the Village at Aspen Lake, as her family and friends made their final visits and told her personally, often holding her hands and with great emotion, how much she meant to them, how much she taught them, how much she inspired them.
It was my great privilege to have witnessed so many of those final moving encounters these last few weeks, and to understand how deeply my mom affected others’ lives.
She was a teacher, after all. Of kindergartners. Of Sunday schoolers. And, in her later years, of those eager to learn the art of Ukrainian Easter egg decorating. Her gentle patience and encouraging guidance was her hallmark style – as my family and I pored over albums to create the photo boards that revisit my mom’s rich life, I noticed how many times she was captured crouched down, leaning in, and eye to eye with others, giving them her full attention. That rare kind of presence and attentiveness allowed her not only to teach people things but also to convey to them how worthy and special they are.
To say my mother was organized is, perhaps, a bit of an understatement. It was a skill that served her well as she went back to work in her later years as a church administrator and spent a lifetime volunteering in various capacities on committees, with teams, and in organizations. But it was also another way in which her caring heart made its mark. Her meticulousness meant that even with a large family, she never missed a birthday or anniversary – special occasions were marked on her calendar, cards and gifts were procured well in advance, and on those special days, you could count on my mom to make your phone ring. In fact, you could count on her to do all of those things even for ordinary every-days, too. The phrase “People will always remember how you made them feel” might not have been invented for my mom, but she certainly embodied its message.
It goes without saying that my mom impacted my life profoundly, in so many ways. Is there any doubt I am a writer and editor today because of our daily ritual when I was a child: beginning and ending every single day in the rocking chair together, me on her lap, with her reading to me. Every time I gather friends and family in my Toronto home and take such joy in feeding them, it is only because she taught me that nourishing people at the table is just another way to show them that you love them. (Bonus points if your table is beautifully set and decorated.)
But perhaps most impactful of all was the example my mother set for me of how to be a strong, independent woman living in a world that isn’t always so accepting of that particular narrative. I write a lot about what it to be a Solo Woman – the assumptions and judgements people make about you; the ways society excludes you. But I also explore the deep fulfilment there is in being free – free to choose your own paths, free to build vibrant networks of diverse connections and relationships, free to explore the depths of your own heart and what makes it sing.
And if I know anything about being true to myself and finding joy and contentment in life, it is because I watched my mom make difficult but necessary decisions for her own well-being. I watched her give so generously of herself, her time, and her resources to her family — bonds with her parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, and nephews that she treasured so very deeply. I watched her nurture friendships that spanned decades and rose up around her as another form of family. I watched her grow her faith and build community in the churches she attended and worked for, laying deep roots with her spiritual families. I watched her take risks, try new things, meet new people, and pursue lifelong learning, both formally and informally. And I watched her live with purpose, agency, and such remarkable courage — right until her very last day.
As so, as we come together today in strength and grace to accompany my mom on her journey to her final earthly home, I would ask that we reflect on how she touched us and everything around her, and then consider how we touch the lives of others: the impact we make on one another, on our communities, and on the world.
A blueprint for making an impact: What a beautiful gift her life gave us.
I’ll close with a quote my mom had tucked away in a folder she kept for me to guide me after she was gone. It says, “To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.”
